I Miss My Boring Life

Up until a few weeks ago, my life was pretty, no very, routine. I had things to do, but they all fell within my daily regimine of boredom. I had always seen my life as very routine, dull, lacking a certain something - we'll call it vitality. I had a pretty boring job. It wasn't very challenging, but I had some friends there, and it was comfortable. My whole life was comfortable. I was unhappy, but I was comfortable.

Along comes the new job. If you've read my previous post, you know my thoughts. Today, my 4th day on the job, I've realized that this job is more boring and less rewarding than the job I left. Even though I do get paid more, it comes at a great price - tedium. As I made my 30th phone call today, I felt this overwhelming sense of purposelessness. "Why am I doing this?", I asked myself. "Only 2 more hours", I said. I tried to cheer myself up all day.

I also wondered if I had made a mistake in leaving my old job. Was the sacrifice necessary? Could I have stayed there? I went back and forth, but finally came to the conclusion that leaving was necessary, despite my current discomfort. I was too comfortable there, and I needed a push. This new job may not be the ultimate destination of that push, but it has been a big push indeed. As stated in my previous post, I have been able to focus on the meaning of life (my life especially), and to desire that which is truly good. I've been evaluating my life more closely too. I am not content with going through the motions of work-a-day life as I was before, because each day I ask myself if what I did today made any difference what so ever.

Before, I was able to shut my mind off and go through the motions. Now I can't shut it off. I'm always thinking about these things, and it really bothers me. I miss my old, boring life. It was much simpler. Not very complicated at all. Now, there have been some intense moments, but they were few and far between. I miss that. Now I know that my life is boring and I hate knowing that...