The Death of a Salesman

I know i haven't posted anything in about 5 months, but this event made me do it. If you know me well, you would know that I am "vocationally challenged." Despite the fact that I possess a master's degree, I don't have a job that befits that degree. Ideally, I would be teaching or pastoring somewhere. But, due to circumstances, I'm just not. It's been very humbling (read "humiliating") to still be in the same spot I was 4 years ago. I have grown spiritually and personally, but I can't put those things on a resume.

So along comes this job that offers more money and more responsibility. It seems great. So I dump my old job to launch myself into a new stage in my life, only to find that I don't want it. I have been jolted into the fact that I'm really a creative person; I just didn't know it until this job attempted to suck the life out of me. I find myself wanting to write, read, teach, create, help; anything that promotes the well being and betterment of other people and myself. Again, I didn't realize this until I stepped into this new job. Its like eating something and having an immediate allergic reaction. You didn't know peanuts would do that to you until you ate them.

So, 2.5 days into this new job, I don't want it anymore. I don't want to go back there on Monday, except to resign. I want a mindless job where I can think about good things there and at while at home. I want a place that will enable me to do what needs to be done to glorify God. For some, its sales. For me, its not sales. This new job is life-consuming. I want my life to be consumed by what glorifies God in my life. Now, I'm not saying that this is a horrible job. For some people, its the job of a lifetime. Work is good. God honors work. But I don't feel like I am honoring God by being there. I feel a definite pull in another direction. This is also not a Christian v. Secular vocation thing, either. I was totally ready to work in any workspace and do my best. I do feel that God calls some of us to do that. But I see God moving me towards a more creative and helping ministry. I don't know...I'm taking everyone's input. Tell me what you think...