I Came Out Of Hiding To Post This...

This is great, and I hope it's real because its so ridiculous: http://www.masswepray.com/.

The Archbishop, Grace and Sex

I can't help but post after reading this article in the Atlantic Magazine. Being a member of the Church of England, or the Anglican Church, I am concerned, and a bit amused by the situation/crisis/bugaboo that surrounds my archbishop. This article by Paul Elie does a fantastic job of setting the tense scene that the bishop enters each and every day. I can't imagine being the head of a group that has so many differing opinions on one issue. He is constantly being pulled and tugged each and every way.

But, Mr. Elie reveals the Archbishop's real stance on the issue even though he (the Archbishop) has ridden the fence since he took office. In this section, Elie is addressing the issue of grace, but not grace as most Christians would know it. He is speaking of sexual grace: "Gay people, too, deserve to be wanted sexually-deserve the body's grace."

He is responding to Rowan Williams'(the Archbishop) own statement about grace: "It is this (sexual) discovery which most clearly shows why we might want to talk about grace here. Grace, for the Christian believer, is a transformation that depends in large part on knowing yourself to be seen in a certain way: as significant, as wanted."

Mr. Elie goes further to explain that "sexual fidelity is akin to religious fidelity...For the church to stand in the way of such relationships, straight or gay, is to stand in the way of God's grace." Since when was sex so important that it merited the attention and devotion of the faithful? Hasn't sex been abused, used and lowered enough that people have used it as a tool to get what they want out of life? Why is this author (and others) putting sex on a pedastal? It doesn't deserve the attention we give it. Plain and simple.

I once heard someone say that the downfall of the gay rights movement is the fact that they are defining themselves by who they have sex with. That's it. There is nothing else that defines them. Most likely they feel persecuted (even if they haven't experienced it themselves) and they feel abandoned by the church (even if they've never tried to enter one). Some just assume that Christians will reject them based on their own stereotypes.

Mr. Elie concludes his argument for the ordination of gay bishops by saying: "the ordination of openly gay people as bishops was not only permissible, but full of grace." Again, Mr. Elie is using sex as a tool to get what he wants. He, and others are creating new definitions of grace (now including sex, which I don't think the authors of the Bible intended) so as to usher in a new age in Anglican Church.

He also insulted the African church by saying that their opposition to the ordination of gay bishops was not their own agenda, but was imported from the US, in a new form of "imperialism against the global south". In other words, the global south can't think for itself yet. Again, very typical behavior and language from the liberal left against their own African brothers and sisters.

As of now, the Anglican church will split. Conservative churches like mine have aligned with Africa and are forming our own diocese here in America apart from the Episcopal Church. This debate is no longer a "wedge" issue for us. But, I still feel for the church as a whole as this issue continues to split it apart. I hope that people will stop reinterpreting the Bible and theology to suit their own needs.

The Monster Of Christian Rock

Even though I have posted about the demise of the Christian music industry before, I never imagined that I would be an eyewitness. Then I went to Winter Jam 2009.

Our youth group went together. I went to show my support for the kids and be supportive and to generally support their activities. Earlier in the week I attended a play that one of our youth was in. A nice, quiet, play. Winter Jam was jammed with about 20,000 kids from all over Kentucky. They really love their Christian music, I guess. I wasn't too excited about the evening's lineup, but I went to support the kids.

The show started with a group of 3rd graders called "Pure NRG", awesomely enough. They pretty much danced around stage with a soundtrack playing in the background. They could've been singing, but I couldn't be sure. They sounded too good for elementary school kids. I was pretty disgusted with this Disney-esque display of talent and then realized that these kids are getting pulled out of school and touring the country to do this. Made me even sicker.

Then this Italian woman came out and sang for us. She was very talented and displayed her great vocal abilities at different times, but her music was uninspiring. I've heard these songs before from other female christian artists. There was nothing unique about her or her music. When she did give the audience a glimpse of her real talent, everyone cheered and squealed like they do on American Idol. I started counting down the minutes until the speaker got up.

But not yet. There was more music to be had. The group NewSong was on stage. These guys have been around for a long time. They just sing. That's it. They started off with some standard church hymns that people here in Kentucky would know, and then they sang some of their signature tunes. One of them had a line that said, "This world has nothing for me". They kept repeating this over and over and over. And then they had us sing it back to them. I felt like I was in Jonestown waiting for the kool aid to be served. I can understand the intent of the message, but the idea that we as Christians have nothing to do with the world, is well, unbiblical. Then they ended the show by making fun of one of their bandmembers from California and sang "Sweet Home Alabama". Awesome.

Finally, I could get a rest from the crappy music when the speaker took the stage. Or so I thought. He replaced crappy music with crappy theology. But before the theology, this middle-aged white guy took a stab at being funny and cool by using phrases, words and gestures that most teens would use these days. He was the typical "Middle Aged Youth Pastor Trying To Get the Attention of the Kids Around Him". It was embarrassing to watch, even when people were laughing at his jokes.

And then, like most speakers, politicians and salesmen who manipulate our emotions, he turned on the audience and talked about death. Specifically, the horrible death that awaits you on your drive home from Rupp Arena. He told stories of teens that died after this and similar events and urged all of us not to make the same mistake they made: "don't leave this room until you know you're going to heaven. This is your last chance".

This was the entirety of the message. No mention was made of what to do with your life in the event that you actually survived the drive home. He was only interested in getting you to heaven, not in helping these kids become solid, dedicated Christ-followers for life.

After this embarrassment, I left to go do something else (I walked around a bit and then called my sister). I missed most of the Jonas Brothers look-alike Disnefied "punk" band (thank God), and then left again to stand in line to eat something. I toyed with the idea of ordering a beer to see what they would do, but I balked. Then "Some Nameless Guy That Sounded Like Every Other Solo Singer You've Ever Heard" sold us his wares and left the stage after a few songs. Apparently one of his songs made it on "Grey's Anatomy". It only made me loathe him all the more. I hate that show.

And then it was time for Toby Mac. I had never seen him perform, so I was anticipating being entertained and enlightened and uplifted above all the mediocrity that had come before. Sadly, He did none of those things. Much like sports teams from the city of Cleveland, he disappointed me greatly. Sure, there was energy. Sure, there was music. But yet again, there was no creativity. He and his "crew" suffer from the same malady as do most Christian bands: they don't produce anything that deserves our attention. It's the same music and the same message that the industry has been pedalling for 15 years, and it's pretty old. But, we're buying it.

All in all, it was pretty crap-tacular. The kids had a great time, and that's important, but I couldn't help but feel sorry for them. They were short changed by these people. They were given a message that probably scared them rather than inspired them. And sadly, this music will go on forever and ever. Toby Mac has been around for 20 years. His audience has not grown with him. He has always attracted teens and continues to do so. I don't know of any adult who follows his career or listens to his music. Probably because its the same stuff he put out when they were kids. I could tell that all of these artists were talented, but they were "handcuffed" by the music that is selling right now.

Things That Are Disappearing In America

Here's a great article on Crunchy Con that'll make you think about how fast our culture is changing. I'm relatively "young" and can't believe the changes that have occurred in the last 15 years. What if I would've had a cell phone and the interweb when I was in high school?

Quote Of The Week

"But of course these conjectures as to why God does what He does are probably of no more value than my dog's ideas of what I am up to when I sit and read." CS Lewis, Reflections On the Psalms

As I try to figure out what God is doing in my life, these words are somewhat comforting to me. It means that I really don't and can't know what God is up to. Not because I'm a dog, but because I just have no idea of God's plan. And I don't think I'm supposed to. Some think we can know, but I don't. I guess we just have to keep trusting God even though nothing is happening. I could go on with dog analogies, but it's Friday and I'm tired and I just don't feel like writing about dogs.

Happy New Year! Here's Some Banned Words And Phrases

Every year, Lake Superior State gives us a list of words and phrases they would like to ban. Here's the list:

• Perfect storm.
• Webinar.
• Waterboarding.
• Organic.
• Wordsmith/ wordsmithing.
• Author/authored.
• Post 9/11.
• Surge.
• Give back.
• 'Blank' is the new 'blank.'
• Black Friday.
• Back in the day.
• Random.
• Sweet.
• Decimate.
• Emotional.
• Pop.
• It is what it is.
• Under the bus.

Here are my additions to their list:

"Pwnd" (for those of you who don't know, this is pronounced, "poned")

"The ATL" as an abbreviation for Atlanta

"Radical Shiite Cleric" in front of Muqtada Al-Sadr every time his name is mentioned

"Evangelical Christian/s/ity"

"Progressive"

"Out Of This World" when describing a space shuttle/station story. We get it.

"Former Soviet Republic" in front of Georgia/Ukraine/Kazahkstan, etc. They've been divorced for almost 20 years now.

"Eight-time Olympic gold medal winner" Michael Phelps.

Christmas In 30 Seconds

This is the winning video from a contest in England. The challenge was to effectively communicate the message of Christmas in 30 secs.

Really? Seriously?

Really not much to say here. Except that, I never, ever would have thought any man with a hint of testosterone would ever, ever want to wear this. I just don't get it. Have a great, masculine Thanksgiving. Watch some football, eat some turkey, take a nap.

I'm Going On "Vacation"

I'll be taking more time off from the internet than usual this week as I will be in Galveston, Texas attempting to clean up after the hurricane that swept thru in September. I'm leaving today and I'll be back on Saturday. If you think of it, pray for our team and the people we'll be ministering to down there. If I can get my camera to work, I'll bring back pictures.

This Just In: I'm Not Ugly

The following is a part of a conversation between myself and a youth at my church this past Sunday:

Youth: "Hey, y'know what? You're a Wilco (popular alt-country band) guy, right? Well, you know Jeff Tweedy, the singer? You look just like him, except you're not as ugly as he is; cuz he's real ugly."

Me: "Yes he is. He's quite ugly. He wears cool shirts, though."

Change For Change's Sake

This guy better be good. We've elected a man with hardly any experience, no background, and a Senate voting record that does not reach "across the aisle". In the presidential race and the senate race here in Kentucky, the theme I heard over and over again was,"We need change".

What does that mean?

I didn't hear anything negative about John McCain except that he's associated with George Bush. That's it. One commentator said that there was no way he could've won last night, simply because he's a Republican. If that's true, we are a truly narrow-minded, stupid nation. Jesus and John the Baptist would've lost too (if they were Republicans). Have we come down to labels and associations? Have we gotten away from the issues completely? Do we throw 'em all out because of a few bad ones? This isn't a football team in need of a new coach! This is our freaking President! He will be making decisions that effect us all (and the world).

This is a horrible way to elect a President.

I think this election will go down in history not just because Obama is our first black president, but because this was truly a popularity contest. Student Council elections aren't that much different. Who's cooler? We don't like the current student council pres, and he's friends with this other guy, so we'll vote for the cool guy.

Regardless, I will do my best to put this stupid election behind me and hope for the best. I really do hope that Obama sees that he only won 52-46 percent. I hope he doesn't forget the South and Midwest states he completely ignored. I hope he considers the 55 million that did not vote for him. I hope he lives up to all the hype and becomes a good President.

Actually, I hope he does better than our current president.

Here's another perspective of the election. He puts it much better...

In My Dreams, I Vote For Cars and Eat Tapioca Pudding Too

Maybe I should start a separate dream blog...

So this morning I had a dream that I was at my local voting place, but I was waiting in line, eating tapioca pudding. I was eating tapioca pudding because they gave you tapioca pudding when you voted. And you didn't vote for people, you voted for the car you wanted. One of my seminary friends showed me the truck she was voting for. And, to top it off, one of my favorite bands, Over the Rhine, was voting and they were going to give me their tapioca pudding. So, I was done voting, but waiting for my band to give me their pudding. Has to be one of the best dreams ever.

Well, I'm off to vote for my favorite car and eat tapioca pudding. Actually, I do vote at a retirement home. There is a very high probability that they'll have the tapioca.

In My Dreams, I'm A Terrorist...

Last night (or this morning) I dreamt that I was a terrorist. No kidding. In this dream, I was solely responsible for leveling, destroying, obliterating two cities. Two. Millions of people were dead. Millions. And I did it. Yeah, me. And I wasn't this extremist, ultra right-wing nut job clinging to my guns and my bible, either. I was just me. And only two people knew about it. One was my friend, Fletch. Yeah, his name is Fletch. He wouldn't talk to me because he was upset that I killed millions of people. He didn't turn me in, but he gave me the cold shoulder. I was upset that I killed all those innocent people, but I was even more upset that Fletch wouldn't talk to me. The other guy was someone I didn't recognize, but he didn't seem to care that I destroyed these places. He kinda thought it was cool. He even offered me a job to help rebuild the towns.

The ironic thing about it was that I was part of a group that went in to one of the cities to clean up debris. And no one was the wiser...

I'm not proud of it. Actually, its pretty disturbing. But sometimes, whether I like it or not, I dream that I'm a terrorist.

In My Element (Rehash Of Old Post)

Today is the first day it's dropped below 45 degrees here in Kentucky. I actually had to break out my Carhartt jacket to protect my body from the elements. I love my Carhartt. I love the first day of the fall when I can wear it. It makes me feel like a big man, all rugged and burly. Yeah, I said burly. If you owned a Carhartt, you'd feel the same way.


I'm in my element. You see, I'm from Ohio and we're very cold people. We're more comfortable in the cold. Summers are unbearable for my people. We melt in our hot cars. We can't wait for the fall. It's our favorite time of year. That's how we roll.


In celebration, I will now attempt to write a sorry excuse for a haiku:


Carhartt jacket in hiding since March,
gone for seven months
show yourself.

Great Post Confirming What I Already Knew About Christian Music

This is a great article from Patrol Magazine about the lameness of Christian music. As a Christian, I've grown tired of tired music from semi-talented and bland artists promoted to the upper eschelons of the Christian music scene. Most of these artists wouldn't be able to play on the secular market, so they are relegated to the lower division of Christian music.

And yet there shines a bright light (or many bright lights) amid the gloom and din of this music scene. Artists that actually have excelled as Christians can be found on various indie web sites such as The Blah Blah and The Bored-Again Christian. Here you can find great music without the boredom. The latter is actually a podcast that you can listen to.

I really hope that the "industry" will collapse in on itself and stop producing lame sounds that pass as Christian music. I hope that the independent artists who are really preaching the same message with actual creativity and gifts from above will be promoted more. We owe it to ourselves and the world to stop the spread of "Christian Music".

The Future Of Youth Ministry

So tonight in my youth ministry class we talked about the four stages of youth ministry dating back to the 1820's. Pretty much, we're in the "Emerging" stage that started around 1990, after the collapse of communism and modernism. Where youth ministry (and church ministry) used to be from the top - down, more and more youth groups are going from a bottom - up model. What's that? Good question.

It's pretty much where the youth pastor stops becoming the expert, the do-it-all, know-it-all minister. Most churches are still in this mode, and expect us to have all the answers. He or she instead trains people in the church to be leaders of youth. So, instead of the youth pastor leading a group of 30 kids and 5 adult leaders, they train the 5 adults and some student leaders to lead it, and do some of the work more effectively. It also becomes a ministry to the adult leaders. I really do believe (and know) that working with youth can be a ministry to the adults.

Another move is to the inner city. Back in the 70's and 80's, most youth ministry was done in the suburbs and small towns, but a majority of the kids were in the cities. Now, more and more adults are going back into the city to minister to those kids. Now its the suburban kids who will be left without leaders. It's funny, because that's exactly what happened here in Lexington with Youth for Christ. While the Urban ministry is thriving, the suburban ministry doesn't even exist anymore. I guess some of these trends are really happening after all.

It's pretty different from where I was 20 years ago as a kid, but I can see the logic behind it. Kids are very different. They want different things than we did just a few decades ago. Anyone who works with youth has their work cut out for them. It's not good enough just to give kids activities; they actually want to be challenged.

As far as my role in all this, I just don't know. I'm trying to learn to be happy where I am at the church I'm in with the youth in front of me. Hopefully, they won't abuse my car like kids in the past have done. I really like this car...

Corrections and Adjustments...

OK...I've made some adjustments to my fantasy football team since my last post. Most notably, my team name has been changed from "Sweet Merciful Crap" to "That's What She Said". Actually, the only changes were dropping Amani Toomer and adding Jeremy Shockey. The biggest change though, was the name. That's What She Said. And if you don't know where that comes from, well...I hate to say it, but you need to watch The Office. I don't like to recommend TV to people (many object to the device), but it is a great show. And this is a great team. Let's hope that I finish better than 9th this year (which is where I have finished the last two years).

Fantasy Football Roster

Here's the 2008 edition of my football team, named "SweetMerciful Crap":

QB: Ben Roethlisberger
RB's: Ladanian Tomlinson, Earnest Graham
WR's: Reggie Wayne, Braylon Edwards, Nate Burleson
TE: Jason Witten
K: Nate Kaeding
D/ST: Giants

Bench:
WR: Santana Moss, Dwayne Bowe, Isaac Bruce, Amani Toomer
RB: Maurice Morris
QB: Phillip Rivers
D/ST: 49ers

Stimulus

Hey...I finally got my tax return AND stimulus check. It took long enough. I think they took out some extra for themselves, but this is free money nonetheless. In thinking of ways to spend this free money, I realized that I've been selfish and only thinking of ways to spend it on myself and not spending it on the economy, which is what the check is for, right? So instead of stimulating myself, here are some potential ways I can stimulate the economy:

1. I could go to the Keeneland September Horse Sales and buy into the horse racing industry. However, I could probably only buy a really cheap horse named "Glue Stick".

2. I could use my new-found money to help people by solving mysteries with my friends and driving around in a van. I think its been done before, though.

3. I could donate it to one or both the Presidential candidates and use my money to gain power and influence in the White House. I could be the next Assistant to the Under Secretary of Delegation. Sounds official, anyway.

4. I could use it to buy naming rights to a new arena or stadium somewhere. I'd call it "Stimulus Stadium" or, in Cleveland, "Second Place Ain't So Bad Arena", or "We're Just Happy To Be Here Stadium", or "Wait Till Next Year Stadium".

5. I could buy teeth for everyone in Kentucky.

6. I could bribe the Olympic Committee and force them to get rid of the following sports: rythmic gymnastics, trampoline (please), syncronized diving, power walking (not a sport), beach volleyball, handball, and curling (oh my god, please). I would also use my influence and bribe them to bring back the tug of war. Could you imagine how awesome that would be? I'd watch it. In fact...

7. I could finance the U.S. Olympic Tug Of War Team. I could do all the recruiting right here in Kentucky, after I buy teeth for all of them. Actually, they'd be scarier without teeth. Hmmm...

8. OR, I could use it to pay rent next month, but that's being selfish.

Wisdom From Mr. Chambers...

From the July 29 entry in My Utmost For His Highest:

"It is not true to say that God wants to teach us something in our trials: through every cloud he brings, He wants us to unlearn something."