Prom

There's nothing like prom drama to end your high school career:

So, I really wanted to ask this girl I liked. We'll call her girl A. So I asked and she told me she was already going with this other guy. No problem. So I ask girl B, who was a good friend. She wanted to go with me, but she was already going with her boyfriend. No prob. I ask girl C, who told me that another girl (girl D) wanted to go with me. I said, "But girl D already has a boyfriend." Girl C replied, "But they're going to his prom at his school. D wants to go with you to ours. But if D says no, I'll go with you." So, I told girl D that I would go with her, and she said yes.

Later that weekend, girl D calls me and says that she and her boyfriend are going to our prom now, so tough luck. I get back to girl C and tell her the situation, but she's already going with someone else. So I ask girl E. She says she's interested, but another guy asked her already, but she didn't give him a response. Next day E says no to me and yes to the other guy. So, then I ask girl F. Two years prior I went to homecoming with F and had a good time, so I figured we'd have a good time again. F says yes. I had forgotten what that word sounded like.

So off we go to the prom with two other couples. Dinner was great, and then prom sucked. She got mad at me for something (yelled at me actually) and then I was done with prom. Forever. And that's my great prom story.

Footnote: Later that summer girl B told me she should have gone to prom with me. No duh. I could've told B that.

Here's How I Almost Died On Stage

Every year, my high school hosted a "talent" show where we were allowed to try out different acts and bore people to death. My group of friends and I started a little tradition (a tradition that lasted 2 years) of putting on Monty Python skits. I was very proud of these little skits as they broke the monotony of solos, duets, dance numbers, ensemble numbers, and bad hair bands that made up the rest of the show.

My senior year, we put on a skit called "Dirty Fork". Pretty much, a customer notices a dirty fork, the entire restaurant staff freak out, and hilarity ensues. My part was the manager of the restaurant. Midway through, I stab myself with the fork and die on the lap of my friend Angie.

On the last night, I decide to fall off of her lap and onto the stage floor. I'm lying on my back, minding my own business in front of 200 people and then my friend Dave enters the stage. He played a freaked out chef who tries to kill the customers. On this night, he decided to "go for it" and flip over the table. Sounded good to me, and probably looked good to the audience (they laughed really hard) until said table edge came crashing down on my neck.

I was still laughing, but in a little pain. I came off the stage and the stage manager asked if I was OK. She said she "thought I was dead and would have to call the ambulance". I didn't see it that way, but I would've panicked too if I saw a table bounce off someone's neck on my stage.

So, I had a good story to tell and a nasty red streak on my neck for the next week. People asked if it was a hickey and I said, "No, just a Monty Python skit".

Another Band Story

Here's another great band story for ya:

Again, it was my freshman year, but now I'm in Symphonic Band instead of marching band. The director had sent me to the office for something, and upon my return to my seat in the back of the band room I decided to "be cool" and walk over some chairs instead of walking around them. In my coolness, the chairs beneath me decided to give way and I was sent down to the hard floor on my back. Everybody gasped, stopped playing and just stared at me. Ms. McNeil said, "Josh, are you alright?". The first words out of my mouth were, "I think I fell". Everybody laughed. It was a hit. But seriously, that's all I could think of saying. I was so embarrassed nothing else made sense.