Here's the 2008 edition of my football team, named "SweetMerciful Crap":
QB: Ben Roethlisberger
RB's: Ladanian Tomlinson, Earnest Graham
WR's: Reggie Wayne, Braylon Edwards, Nate Burleson
TE: Jason Witten
K: Nate Kaeding
D/ST: Giants
Bench:
WR: Santana Moss, Dwayne Bowe, Isaac Bruce, Amani Toomer
RB: Maurice Morris
QB: Phillip Rivers
D/ST: 49ers
22 August 2008
20 August 2008
Stimulus
Hey...I finally got my tax return AND stimulus check. It took long enough. I think they took out some extra for themselves, but this is free money nonetheless. In thinking of ways to spend this free money, I realized that I've been selfish and only thinking of ways to spend it on myself and not spending it on the economy, which is what the check is for, right? So instead of stimulating myself, here are some potential ways I can stimulate the economy:
1. I could go to the Keeneland September Horse Sales and buy into the horse racing industry. However, I could probably only buy a really cheap horse named "Glue Stick".
2. I could use my new-found money to help people by solving mysteries with my friends and driving around in a van. I think its been done before, though.
3. I could donate it to one or both the Presidential candidates and use my money to gain power and influence in the White House. I could be the next Assistant to the Under Secretary of Delegation. Sounds official, anyway.
4. I could use it to buy naming rights to a new arena or stadium somewhere. I'd call it "Stimulus Stadium" or, in Cleveland, "Second Place Ain't So Bad Arena", or "We're Just Happy To Be Here Stadium", or "Wait Till Next Year Stadium".
5. I could buy teeth for everyone in Kentucky.
6. I could bribe the Olympic Committee and force them to get rid of the following sports: rythmic gymnastics, trampoline (please), syncronized diving, power walking (not a sport), beach volleyball, handball, and curling (oh my god, please). I would also use my influence and bribe them to bring back the tug of war. Could you imagine how awesome that would be? I'd watch it. In fact...
7. I could finance the U.S. Olympic Tug Of War Team. I could do all the recruiting right here in Kentucky, after I buy teeth for all of them. Actually, they'd be scarier without teeth. Hmmm...
8. OR, I could use it to pay rent next month, but that's being selfish.
1. I could go to the Keeneland September Horse Sales and buy into the horse racing industry. However, I could probably only buy a really cheap horse named "Glue Stick".
2. I could use my new-found money to help people by solving mysteries with my friends and driving around in a van. I think its been done before, though.
3. I could donate it to one or both the Presidential candidates and use my money to gain power and influence in the White House. I could be the next Assistant to the Under Secretary of Delegation. Sounds official, anyway.
4. I could use it to buy naming rights to a new arena or stadium somewhere. I'd call it "Stimulus Stadium" or, in Cleveland, "Second Place Ain't So Bad Arena", or "We're Just Happy To Be Here Stadium", or "Wait Till Next Year Stadium".
5. I could buy teeth for everyone in Kentucky.
6. I could bribe the Olympic Committee and force them to get rid of the following sports: rythmic gymnastics, trampoline (please), syncronized diving, power walking (not a sport), beach volleyball, handball, and curling (oh my god, please). I would also use my influence and bribe them to bring back the tug of war. Could you imagine how awesome that would be? I'd watch it. In fact...
7. I could finance the U.S. Olympic Tug Of War Team. I could do all the recruiting right here in Kentucky, after I buy teeth for all of them. Actually, they'd be scarier without teeth. Hmmm...
8. OR, I could use it to pay rent next month, but that's being selfish.
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